I plan to open my heart to listen to Him.

I have experienced many recent changes in the last two weeks. I've been jumping around quite a bit. I've tried to meditate substantially; however, I have fallen short to truly indulge myself in the promise. I have a very convicting message I want to write, the sad part is it hurts because I am leaning on my own understanding in order to interpret it. It is that of the Vine and the Branches.

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I am in a period myself of allowing God to prune certain parts of my life away. Bad habits, dependencies, attitude and time bandits are causing my branch to wither. Its hard to fight these often because they have become a very close part of my daily life. I have accepted that I can only move forward in my relationship with God, the problem lies in my motivation to move forward. I am fearful of God, but I often wonder if I am in true love with Him or just his promise. I am conflicted on the desires of my heart. I think I may be coveting. It's human nature I suppose. The heart wants what the heart wants, and from the heart comes evil when it is not truly handed over for Jesus to take over. My past week I've been doing a lot of driving and in that time I've been able to reflect on myself. Today it finally hit me, I've been too busy acting a Christian lately. I'm naturally a good person so half of it comes easy; however, it was in my personal time that I realized exactly how I have been failing. I have received conviction to quit a lot of my habits. I've ended the secular music listening and I've surrounded myself with Christian music. The only problem is that I haven't surrounded myself with the word. I've cut out bad habits that kill my time before bed, however I haven't done any edification before bed. I began to tame my tounge, however, love doesn't flow from my tounge. I've tucked away old memories in file 13, but my thoughts still afflict me from time to time.

I plan to open my heart to listen to Him. I hear His voice but I haven't been listening. I plan to take a few days of pure meditation. I can't wait until the days when I can be alone with Him in the wilderness. But for now here is a piece of my heart.

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Posted in Home Improvement Post Date 08/23/2017